This subject spans generations... covers history... mythology…
The sheer male hunting instinct, or just plain polygamy... has always been, as much, a part of life as perhaps, Oxygen...
India is a country where we worship, Lord Krishna, who had innumerous wives… So how can we expect the male progeny to be far behind???
At the time when kings were rich, they maintained innumerous wives & concubines, sex slaves in their harems... (wonder what their diet was like… that gave them such hyper libido, today, men plead of headache…, over-work and even blame the weather… LOL!!!)
The kings picked up any girl they liked to satisfy their lust… satiate their carnal pleasures… The law then was meant for the rich & powerful, and the women had no chance to protest… The queens just looked away, and rarely voiced their disapproval…
Then came the Zamindars and their nautch-girls. They patronized these very talented ladies… often squandering their wealth and property in a typical male show of one man up ship… while their wives spent their lives lamenting their husbands disinterest and weeping silent tears… some gutsy wives protested… which led them to fall from their husbands’ favor…
The Hindu marriage act 1955, prohibits a second marriage, while the 1st spouse is still living… so…the mistresses, one night stands and extra marital relationships followed…
Throughout the ages, it has always been the women who have suffered great emotional losses due to their husband’s infidelity and roving eye… However they have always forgiven and accepted their men back with pious open arms, into their lives and bed… (as a proverb in hindi goes “agar subha ka bhula, sham ko ghar wapas aye… use bhula nahi kehten”…)
But I truly wonder, would men be as forgiving if women commited adultry? How tolerant are they?
Hillary Clinton stood by her husband’s side like a sentinel all through the media circus during the Monica Lewinsky case… She held on to her man, her marriage, her family… and emerged a winner… setting an example of a perfect wife… the point here is… is she really happy…? Has she really managed to forgive her husband as a woman… and not as political contender for the presidential seat, who wants to portray the image of a perfect American family?
In the recent running case of the handsome, debonair Shiney Ahuja, a very talented actor… he could have perhaps had any woman he wanted… and what does he do?? He rapes his maid servant… in his wife’s absence!!! (lack of taste… I swear, LOL!!!) Once again it is left to his poor wife, to stand by and defend a husband, who can’t think beyond his satisfied cock!!!
Whether it is rape or consensual sex… it all surmounts to adultery!!! Either way, the wife is wronged… The tension, heartbreak, loss of faith… the ultimate nightmarish hell that the poor lady is going through, is inhuman…
If it has indeed been consensual sex… then the maid servant needs to be flogged!! She is simply out to make a quick buck…
But if it is really rape… my heart goes out to the teenager… no woman should go through this humiliation… this scar will never heal…
A relationship takes a long time to build up… with love, respect & trust being the main pillars on which it rests… a scenario like this shatters all this in a second… like a twister, leaving behind mass scale destruction in its wake… all that remains is a farce called marriage… and more often than not the reason for sticking together is the child who is caught up in the mess. A dysfunctional family like this is the worse place for a child to grow up in…
Scenarios are however changing… today’s women also seek emotional and sexual satisfaction well outside the bonds of marriage… office affairs are the order of the day… This can be simply termed as a ‘lifestyle disease’…
Most women are working now… stepping into places which till very recently had been a preferred male domain… they sit astride both the worlds, juggling home & career fronts with equal aplomb…
Their new found identity and independence have led them to become more open towards having friends and confidants of the opposite sex. This leads to an emotional dependence and often culminates into a clandestine affair…
While men have affairs just to satisfy their lust, most of the women indulging in affairs have hidden agendas... and make proper use of the saying, ‘Men are hard when they are soft and soft when they are hard…LOL!!! They either use men as stepping stones to climb the ladders of success or for monetary gains.
But let’s not generalize… there are women, who unwittingly gets pulled into affairs because of their romantic & emotional bent of mind… they just need to feel cherished, understood & supported by someone special…someone to whom they can pour their hearts out… share the joy & sorrow… walk in the rain… stay up at night and talk… (yeah… I know, I know… sounds like a girlie paradise…!! Sigh…!!!)
And, there are women who happily manage to maintain platonic relationships as well…
While I dont disagree with the fact that married women also have affairs, especially whose husbands are so busy making money that they don't have the time to satisfy their wives' physical & emotional needs...
It is very true that 'it takes two to tango'... and that every affair will have a man and a woman involved,(unless its a homosexual affair... ugh... lets not even get there!!!) it is mostly the married men, who draw unmarried younger women into the emotinal web, by making up stories about their uncaring wives... and how misunderstood he is at home...!!! They are often heard using cliched lines like.."why didn't I meet you before, we would have been so happily married by now...", "I am so lonely...", "I really love you... but what to do... I am caught in this bad marriage...", "My parents will never understand...", "My wife is never interested in what I do...", "You know, we dont even have sex...", " havent said this to anyone all these years... just you..." All this is said just to garner sympathy from the a lady...
If we really do a study… even today the comparative numbers for cheating husband will be more than the cheating wives… because women still think twice about having an affair... and jeopardizing the lives of their loved ones... even with temptations galore... and this cuts across all stratas of society...
Akasher rong kalo hoyechey
